Time for a smile! 
Visiting his grandparents, a small boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out. He picked it up and found that it was an old leaf that had been pressed flat between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," he called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked."
With astonishment in his voice, the boy answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
* * * *
A pastor I know has a standard liturgy for funerals. To personalize each service, he uses the Find and Replace command on his computer to replace the name of the deceased from the previous funeral with the new name.
The next morning, the funeral was going smoothly until the Apostle's Creed. "Jesus Christ," the congregation read from the program, "born of the Virgin Edna..."
* * * *
The Sunday School teacher was describing that when Lot's wife looked back at Sodom she turned into a pillar of salt, when Bobby interrupted. "My mommy looked back once while she was driving," he announced, "and she turned into a telephone pole."
* * * *
Another Sunday School teacher said to her children, "We have been learning about how powerful the kings and queens were in Biblical times. But there is a higher power. Who can tell me what it is?"
Tommy blurted out, "I know, Aces."
* * * *
After explaining the commandment to honour your father and mother, a Sunday School teacher asked her class if there was a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters.
One boy, the oldest in his family, immediately answered, "Thou shalt not kill."
* * * *
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, and they give him €25."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, and they give him €200."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight men to collect all the money!"
* * * * * * * *
Pontius Who? 
At Sunday school, the younger children were drawing pictures illustrating Biblical stories. The teacher walked by and noticed one little boy was drawing an airplane! "Oh, what Bible story are you drawing?" she asked. "This is the Flight into Egypt," the little boy answered. "See, here is Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus. And this," he said, pointing to the front of the plane, "is Pontius. He's the Pilot."
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On April 25th we will have our Vision Day. It is such an important day in the life of our group of churches. I hope as many folk as possible will be able to come to the service and food and sharing that follow. This really is a key day in our year and as the day gets nearer I am increasingly aware of its importance. 
Of course you might say how can we have much vision when we are in a season of vacancy? In one sense you have a point and yet this is such a crucial stage we are in. 
The wilderness is a place where there are temptations. There are two temptations in this middle zone. One is to want to go back to the familiarity of where we were before just like the Israelites moaned and wanted to go back to Egypt. The other is to take short cuts that may not be God’s new beginning. How we need to listen, to reflect and root our lives in prayer.
It was great to have Dennis Johnston from SAMS with us again for our recent United Service. Dennis helpfully shared a little about our link with Beryl. Contact with her is not easy so we will have to be patient and persistent in keeping up to date. We also received her recent prayer news. To summarise:
Beryl asks for prayer for a young man called Jeremiah who helps Beryl practically. His brother has been imprisoned for drug related habits and Jeremiah could also be.
Lorraine Spotten is planning to spend a month in Kenya this Summer. Departing on the 5th July Lorraine will be going through UCIT who send large numbers of students on volunteer projects overseas. I am sure this trip will be so life informing as she helps at an orphanage and HIV Clinic in Limuru north of Nairobi. AIDS is largely responsible for creating more than a million orphans in Kenya, of which only 5% receive any form of support. Volunteers like Lorraine play an invaluable role in helping these children - whose ages range between 4 and 15 - in the orphanages and homes. In addition to HIV and AIDS the children have often been affected by abuse, poverty or sickness and are in need of love and affection?. Some particularly suffer from developmental problems and need individual attention to stimulate them. It is so good to hear Lorraine is taking this opportunity. To help her get away there is a fundraiser pub quiz at The Woodford Arms in Ballyconnell. Starting at 9pm admission is €7 with 4 people per table. To find out more contact Lorraine on 087 7720684.
At the time of writing many vestries are about to have their Annual General Meeting. May I take this opportunity to thank all those who come along to these important meetings. May I also congratulate those elected to hold office within the church for the forthcoming year. As well as extending sincere tanks to those elected, I would also like to thank those who have chosen to stand down from office and those not re-elected - your contribution during your term of service has been very much appreciated.
This year the prize giving will be held in Kildallon at 3pm on Sunday 13th June with food and fun at Kildallon Rectory to follow.
If you have a digital camera or a camera on your mobile phone please take photographs of your local parish activities. We would love to hear from you or, just send your photos to the group office. 